| Today I’ve been married One Month. And I’m trying to figure out what has changed,
how different I feel, something that would mark getting married as a new
chapter in life, a new journey, a voyage into the unknown, blah, blah, blah. And so far I’ve come up with…nothing.
One thing I have noticed is how differently I’m treated by
everyone. I noticed it most around the
more conservative type Indians, I’m no longer the ambiguous “girlfriend,” but
rather the enduring, respect-demanding wife.
Here’s one example that completely caught me off guard. A few weeks after we were married, we went a
friend’s place, Moni, for an Easter lunch party. Moni had twin baby girls that were then two
months old. Her parents were still
visiting from India,
helping out with the babies. When I got
to their place, I went upstairs to say hi to Moni and her mom, both of whom
were holding and feeding a baby. I had
casually asked which one was older, and Moni told me which one was delivered
first, but her mom told me that the other one was technically older because she
was conceived first. I looked shocked
and asked her how she knew. At that
point we were interrupted by some young girls who had just arrived and came
upstairs to see the babies, so Moni’s mom told me she’d tell me later. But she used a tone and an expression that
suggested that this was the kind of topic not to be mentioned in front of
young, unmarried girls. (I never did
learn how they figured which baby was conceived first because then the party
kicked up, but I’ll ask Moni the next time I see her.) Writing this all out I guess doesn’t really
express how different this conversation was from any other, but the fact that
they were openly talking to me about something that was “sexual” in content was
something that would never have happened before. Apparently my two week’s worth of “experience”
entitled me to a whole new world of knowledge.
And I’m still COMPLETELY not used to people referring to
Sajith as my husband. I mean, I like
calling him that, and the thought that we got married and have this future
together makes me happy. Not that I
thought we didn’t have this future together before, but this word “marriage” is
more like a clear symbol and almost a promise of happiness to come. On the weekend I went to watch Sajith play in
a tennis tournament. The girl I was
sitting with said, “He’s having a good match.” I asked her, “Who?” expecting to get a name in
response. She replied, “Your husband.” And for that very slightest of moments I was
confused…who??? Oh yeah. To me, he’s Sajith, and when people refer to
him, shouldn’t they use his name?
But I think that’s about it. The difference between before and after
marriage has nothing to do with inside your home. It’s the way other people react to you. I always thought this to be the case, but now
I know. It’s like you’re now a member of
the club. Just like moms talk to other moms
about their children, saying things like, “Kids…” with that air of both love
and irritation every time we trouble them in public, or guys talk about their
wives, I’m now part of a club of women who speak with an underlying, “Sheesh,
husbands…”. I don’t know if it’s good or
bad. But it’s different. But it does have one benefit. Having this membership enlightens me about
the ways in which wives behave and can be treated, and makes me realize how
very lucky I am to have found Sajith who cares for me completely, but respects
me as an individual. We truly are
50-50. And I never thought I’d find that
in my life.
As for what we’re doing on our Monthiversary, I have no
idea. On our Weekaversary, I took Sajith
to the zoo. I actually took a lot of
pictures and video, with the intention of putting them up on youtube, but just
haven’t got around to that yet. Plus I
took a quick look at the video and it pretty much sucks. So now I’ve decided to invest in a video
camera. First stop, overstock.com!!!
LOVES! |
